'I was lucky to have known people like you...'

As it approaches Mother’s Day it prompts reflection on what our relationships mean to us: whether that be with one’s biological mother; grandmother; step-mother; foster or adoptive mother, or any other influential female who plays a significant part in our lives. For some this may stir up feelings of confusion or sadness. For others this can be a happy time in which to share fond memories and create new ones together. For those young people who were in the care of the Refuges many may not have had a relationship with their mothers. The reasons for a child entering care were varied and complex. Some had faced the trauma of losing their parents at an early age to illness, or were removed from their situation either permanently or on a short-term basis. Regardless of circumstance, we should all have a person in our lives who provides us with the same sureties a mother does, be they female, or indeed, male. So as Mother’s Day approaches we ask ‘what is the role of a mother?’

A mother provides security. In the case of some of our looked after children this meant temporarily, or otherwise, relinquishing the caring responsibilities of a child and handing them over to the Refuges to ensure the child's safety and wellbeing. For some, and this is seen in manifold cases during and between the two World Wars, economic situations and ill-health forced many young mothers, whom were widowed, separated, or alone as their partners fought in the wars, to give up their children so they could seek out work and improve their situation. Once they had done this, in many cases the child would then be restored to them as we can see in the following letter from a mother to Mr Cunningham, General Secretary of the Refuges.

A mother listens and shares her wisdom and advice. In the following letter a mother recounts the lines of the Ella Wheeler Wilcox poem Solitude. Whilst the poem is largely not one of great cheer, the opening lines ‘laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone’ is used to embolden her son to keep strong until he comes home. Closing with the line ‘be a good loser’, she offers further light-hearted encouragement to her son.

A mother sees to our health and wellbeing. The mother in the letter below shows her concern by fretting over her son’s wearing of his glasses, and ensuring that her son's needs are attended to by the Refuges whilst she is apart from him.

A mother looks out for us and does all the little things that help us to improve our lives on a daily basis. Mothers take care of all the minor details that help provide us with happiness and make sacrifices to do this (even little things such as remembering to feed the fish at the expense of posting a letter!)

A mother makes sure we fulfil our duties with loving care. Ensuring we meet our expectations and do well, mother's do not moan or nag they only advise as they know what's best for us.